Body-Mind-Spirit - Inspiration for Writers, Dreamers, and Seekers of Health & Happiness
![]() In response to my feedback this week, a gifted writing circle member listened carefully, furrowed her brow, and said she could boil my comments down to two words: “Less hiding.” “Yes!” I told her. “Exactly. I want more of you in the story.” She smiled and nodded. I could tell she understood. Only some people comprehend this directive. Or they grasp it, but it makes them squeamish. Years ago, I hired a social media consultant to evaluate my Instagram account. She said: “People want to see you. They want to know you. Put more pictures of yourself in your feed.” I cringed.
Part of me didn’t want to be seen, which is still true sometimes. But another side of me—believing transparency fosters self-acceptance and freedom—is more robust. This side of my personality is stubborn and persistent, and it gives me the courage to share from my heart, which sometimes involves divulging secrets. Pastor and author Rick Warren says, “You’re only as sick as your secrets.” I agree. With this caveat: I protect secrets for loved ones who aren’t ready to share specific details of their lives. When a loved one’s story intersects with mine, I proceed with caution and compassion. I find ways to express myself without pulling anyone’s covers. My relationship with my loved ones comes first. But I try to share my secrets because doing so liberates, heals, and energizes me. The epigraph in my poetry book, Secrets of My Sex, is Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ quote: “A woman who carries a secret is an exhausted woman.” While some secrets are harmless, others may lead to physical and emotional damage or distress. Kept in the dark, skeletons in the closet may grow mold. The purpose of sharing personal writing is to bring light to dark places. Sharing truths from the heart is an act of generosity of spirit toward the self and others because it releases shame, which heals writers and readers. Sharing personal information has helped me overcome shame and accept myself as I am. Others have thanked me for doing this because it permits them to do the same. But be gentle with yourself. Go at your own pace. Seek support if you need it. And make sure you choose carefully how, with whom, and when you share your secrets. You have a right to your privacy, too.
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