When I returned home from my trip I hit the ground running, burning the proverbial candle at both ends. I stayed up late and woke up early. And then, predictably, I hit the wall. Even the simplest item on my to-do list felt like it would require a Herculean effort.
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Spring is here and several of my writing clients (and I) are cleaning house—literally and figuratively. Spring is a time of renewal, budding life—and fresh ideas! It is a time to honor yourself and what you want. Getting rid of what you no longer use, need, or love creates opportunities for growth and for new experiences, and allows you to receive whatever is ready to come through you and take shape in the world. Clutter clearing creates both physical and psychological space, as well as clarity and focus.
Last Friday was a stressful day. I found myself thinking about how I cannot control what happens, but I can control my reaction to what happens. But having that knowledge and putting it into practice are two separate things.
I rarely get much writing done in December. This year I completely ruled out writing the next chapter of my book during this busy month. On top of decorating, shopping, wrapping, and other holiday tasks—not to mention my husband’s birthday the week before Christmas—my father-in-law died in November and his memorial was scheduled for December 10th. This meant not only an out-of-town trip, but also an unexpected visitor: grief. I wanted to comfort my husband. Listen. Prepare food. I told him I’d take care of all our holiday needs, and was determined to make the season as warm and bright as possible. Under the circumstances, I was certain I’d have neither the time nor mental space to write my chapter. Plus I wanted to review old journal entries and scan the diet and nutrition books I’d read seven years ago prior to going raw. I told my writing coach not to expect my chapter until the end of January.
I recently came upon this quote by American existential psychologist, Rollo May: “Real creativity is not possible without anxiety. In many ways, it’s the price of admission to the artist’s life.”
A week after back-to-school night at my daughter’s school, our Indian summer ended abruptly. Clouds filled the sky. No raindrops fell, but it turned cool enough to convince me that, yes, summer is over. I’ll admit I didn’t want it to end. I love the long days of sunlight, the warmth, and fresh produce. I’m going to miss my hammock and lounging by the pool reading. I’m also going to miss meditating, practicing yoga, and journal writing in the back yard. I’m going to miss lying on my back and staring up at our eucalyptus tree. I’m going to miss hummingbirds and blue jays, and the smell of honeysuckle and damp earth after my husband has watered the yard.
Last week, as many of you know, I attended Camp Scripps, a camp run by and for alums of Scripps College, a liberal arts college for women in Claremont, California. Sister alumnae reunited for four days of workshops, camaraderie, connection, and fun. Workshops included tiara-making, creative writing, belly dancing, flamenco, yoga, art journaling, T’ai Chi, water aerobics, needlepoint, meditation, flower arranging, basket weaving, soul collage, soap making, art jam, Nia, poetry, and more. There were also botanical garden and photography walks, lectures, and a panel on how to get your book published.
Years ago, while traveling in Greece, I picked up a pair of worry beads (Komboli). It didn’t take long to incorporate these beads into my daily meditation practice. But I renamed my worry beads gratitude beads.
First thing every morning, as I slide each bead, I say something in my life I’m grateful for: my health, the health of my family, my husband, my daughter, our home, my mother, my sisters, their families, my friends, my students, my clients, my guides—both physical and spiritual—my enthusiasm, my love of learning, my computer, my car, my writing practice, my connection to God, my life itself, and so on. I try to stay in the moment and think of new things I’m grateful for each day. Yesterday in church, the Reverend said, “To a grateful heart, much is given. The Universe sees you as a satisfied customer and gives you more.” Then he asked, “Can you allow what’s good in you to change you?” I realized this is what I try to do each day with my gratitude beads. Thinking about the ways in which I feel blessed focuses me on what’s going well in my life. The more I do this, the better things get. Lately I’ve been looking for ways to give myself treats. Since my Greek gratitude beads are plastic, I thought it might be nice to make a pair out of a gemstone, such as rose quartz or amethyst. Purple is my favorite color. It is the color of the crown chakra, which symbolizes our connection to the divine. Amethysts are associated with nobility, spiritual awareness, meditation, balance, psychic abilities, inner peace, healing, stress relief, and positive transformation. But rose quartz’s properties enhance all forms of love, self-care, kindness, nurturing, and tenderness. I went to my local bead shop and held strings of rose quartz and amethyst stones in my hands: they both felt wonderful, but I selected the amethysts, and with the help of the women who worked there, created a new set of gratitude beads. Modern Greek worry beads contain 19-23 beads. My plastic set contains 21. But I decided to make my new set with 22 beads. In Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose, Sonia Choquette sites several reasons why the number 22 is auspicious: In numerology, the study of the mathematical order of the Universe, 22 is a sacred number that reflects how the physical world is manifested; in western Kabbalah, this number is considered the foundation of all things; the first 22 numbers symbolize the cosmic principles; the Hebrew alphabet is composed of 22 letters, each corresponding to a number that represents spiritual law; there are 22 archetypes in the Major Arcana of the Tarot; and in many spiritual traditions, the number 22 is an important and sacred number. But for me, the clincher was that my daughter was born on 2/22. The day I made my amethyst gratitude beads I visited a psychic for the first time in years, as part of my treat quest. When I showed her my beads, she said, “These are great, but you need another pair—in pink.” The rose quartz beads I’d been holding earlier flashed in my mind. “How come?” I asked. “You’re aura is radiating pink. There’s all this loving energy around you.” Great, I’ll take that, I thought, thrilled for an excuse to return to the bead shop for the rose quartz I’d left behind. The bit of guilt I experienced over acquiring not one but two new sets of gratitude beads vanished when I held the completed rose quartz creation. This second set was more radiant than the first; when I held it in my hands I felt serene and happy. I keep the rose quartz beads on my main home altar, the amethyst beads in my purse, and the original plastic set in my office, and I am grateful for them all. While preparing to write this post I found a website that explains the history and use of worry and prayer beads, including Muslim worry beads (Tespih); Buddhist worry beads (Malas); and Christian rosaries. The site includes information about gemstone properties, and offers exquisite beads for sale. I’m eyeing several pair, but am holding off for now. I want to make sure my desire to express is greater than my desire to possess. If beads aren’t your thing, you can use your fingers to count your blessings, or keep a gratitude journal, or just remind yourself daily how lucky you are to be alive. The simple act of expressing gratitude never fails to uplift me. Try it. Take five minutes. What are you grateful for? I wrote this in response to a client’s question, “How do I practice self-love?”
12 Ways to Practice Self-Love
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