Don’t Take “No” for An Answer: Start Living Your Dreams Today!

Huge numbers of people show at jobs every day that they’re less than thrilled to be working. Some of us may be in that camp. Some not. But most creative writers, regardless of other jobs they have or work they do, are lucky to engage in work they love. Writing is a passion. We may not always love what we do, but writing is something we have to do. The late Scott Dinsmore, creator of Live Your Legend, asked, “What’s the work you cannot not do?” What’s the work that even when you’re not doing it you think you should be? What’s the work that when you put it off it keeps nudging you? What’s the work that really matters to you? Most writers would respond to these questions with a single word: “writing!”

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So we’re doing what we love, which is a big first step toward living your dreams, and yet the writing life is rough. There’s much we can’t control. Recently, a student emailed me this quote on persistence by novelist Denise Pattiz Bogard:

“I’ve been getting lots of congrats on my book. And yes, I am proud of The Middle Step. But I believe I’m most proud of my persistence. Since age 20 I’ve dreamed of being a novelist. In my 40s I went back to school and got a Masters in Fine Arts in Creative Writing. I wrote a novel, After Elise, obtained an agent, got some interest but no contract offer. The book went into the desk drawer and I wrote another book, got a new agent, rewrote the book, rewrote the book, rewrote the book. It had four titles, two agents, multiple passes. The main character had three names. New characters appeared in subsequent drafts. Middle chapters were dropped or added.  I never gave up. And that’s what I’m most proud of. So now I can tell all my writer friends and writer students: believe in your work, be willing to go back to it and improve, and don’t give up on your dreams.”

This was Dinsmore’s message too. Not only shouldn’t you give up on your dreams, the world needs people actively making their dreams come true. Imagine what the world might look and feel like if the majority of people loved their work? Think how that would change the overall energy of people everywhere. Dinsmore said it would be revolutionary. And the revolution has begun! More and more people are refusing to settle for autopilot lives and are instead seeking authenticity. There are clear-cut ways to go about living a unique and meaningful life. Proven techniques, which improve the quality of your life and your writing. Here are several that I’ve experimented with myself:

1. Become a Self-Expert. Know yourself. What do you value? Make a list. Focus on what’s most important to you in life. Then make sure you’re living your values, acting in accordance with what matters to you. Self-expression and creativity are among my top values, so when a few days go by and I’m not engaged in creative work, like writing, I know there’s room for course correction, and I do whatever’s necessary to get back on track.
   
   
2. Do the Impossible. We tend to focus on our limitations instead of possibilities. I once applied for a residency at Scripps College, thinking there wasn’t any way I’d get it. I told myself I was writing the application for myself. I asked myself, If I could do anything I wanted to do here, what would it be? I let myself dream, making things up as I went along. I didn’t think my plan was really possible, but I acted as if it was. I felt like I was pretending—again, making things up—and I kept asking myself, If this was possible, what would I do? My willingness to lean into the possibility actually created it--I got the residency!
   
   
3. Take Leaps of Faith. This is exactly what I did while I crafted my residency proposal. When I received the call telling me my proposal had been selected, I thought, Holy shit, now I actually have to do this, which required an even bigger leap of faith. It was one thing to craft a dream on paper, and another to execute it. Great things happen when we step to the edge of our comfort zone and jump. The need for perfection prevents us from doing this; it shrinks our world. Let me just get in there and play in this mess is a more helpful thought than I have to do this really well. And it makes sense that when we push our boundaries—in life and with our writing—we enlarge our world.
   
   
4. Surround Yourself with People Who Are Doing What You Want To Do. It’s a huge advantage to be around people who support and believe in you. But the next step is seeking out people who are doing what you aspire to do. Writers can’t afford to be loners. Those days are long gone. Reach out. Cultivate friendships with birds that sport the color feathers you’d like to don. Learn from them. Share your knowledge. Help each other grow.
   
   
5. Give Yourself an Automatic “A” in Life. You’re beyond good enough. You’ve received the coveted “A.” Now relax. You don’t need to prove anything to anybody, not even to yourself. When you’re called to write, it’s your Soul talking. You can’t go wrong saying “yes” to your Soul. Say it. Again and again. Every day. Every hour if you must. Just keep saying “yes.” Fling yourself into what you love. This is your path, your lesson, and your sacred opportunity. It’s also what makes dreams come true.
   
   

Have you experimented with any of these strategies or others? What’s helped you to stay focused and move forward in the direction of your dreams? I’d love to hear from you.