It’s easy to race from one writing goal to another without stopping to acknowledge a job well done. After all, there’s always more work to do. But it’s important, at times, to pause and relish your achievements, to let them sink in. Otherwise life becomes a state of urgent, perpetual striving.
In the past, my M.O. has been to move full steam ahead. But lately I’ve learned how to rein in the racing horses of my mind. To be present and still and to honor milestones. I reached a major one a few weeks ago when I completed my memoir, RAW: A Midlife Quest for Health and Happiness.
Five years ago when I started writing my memoir, Tracey Brown, my life coach, tried to impress upon me the importance of self-validation, which comes from within. Part of this self-approval process involved learning how to celebrate myself and not expecting someone else to do that for me. This involved taking responsibility for my own satisfaction and joy and recognizing and rewarding my own achievements. At first this felt uncomfortable and I resisted the idea, which felt self-centered, even selfish. But Tracey persisted with this life-affirming, joy-inducing lesson.
With Tracey’s support, upon completion of the first part of my memoir, I treated myself to a trip to the desert, which restored, delighted, and rejuvenated me. I loved it. I don’t recall what I did to celebrate completing part two, but I decided that when I finished writing the third and last part of my memoir I’d take myself to a raw food spa in Malaysia. I let myself have this dream, partly because finishing my memoir felt so far away and seemed like it might never happen.
On August 1, I sent my manuscript to my writing coach and editor, Brooke Warner, and knew it was time to celebrate. However, for a number of personal reasons, a trip to Malaysia doesn’t make sense right now. Still, I wanted to mark the occasion in a way that felt significant, but I had no idea what that might look like. When I spoke to Tracey about it, I resisted every idea that surfaced. I felt embarrassed celebrating myself. I felt self-indulgent and materialistic. Besides, I didn’t want to spend a lot of money, especially as I anticipate future editing and publicity costs.
“It’s not about money,” Tracey said. “You can find meaningful ways to acknowledge this milestone that are within your budget.” She also gently nudged me out of scarcity consciousness by reminding me that money isn’t fixed. “You have more coming,” she said. “Trust your radar. Ask yourself, ‘How can I honor myself in light of this milestone?’”
I took her question into my meditation practice. The first image that materialized in my mind’s eye was flowers. So I did something I’ve never done before: I had flowers delivered to my home from me. I also bought myself a card that said, “Congratulations,” and wrote myself a love letter in my journal. I took a day off work and poked around my favorite shops—and discovered a few new ones. I bought myself an Indian shawl, lavender with gold threads, to use as an altar cloth, where I meditate and write in my journal. And I’m in the process of having three thin bands of gold—yellow, white, and rose—made to wear as stacking rings, symbols for body, mind, and spirit, the three sections of my book. I hope these rings will remind me of my commitment to love and honor my relationship with my body, mind, and spirit. I hope looking at them will call to mind the fine work I’ve done, my perseverance, dedication to craft, and my love for writing—and life. This feels self-honoring. This brings me joy, as well as moments of pause, which transport me back to the present moment, where life unfolds. I am here. Now. Filled with gratitude.
How do you celebrate your writing accomplishments? I’d love to hear from you.