MESSA ROAD
It happened on Messa Road,
at my friend, Lisa's, house.
She was the shyest girl
in our third grade class
so it was odd that we were friends.
I can't recall whether she encouraged me
or tolerated me,
but she had no problem
announcing my number to an audience
of teddy bears and dolls.
I stepped on the concrete stage
surrounded by grass
and sang Gypsy Rose Lee's
“Let Me Entertain You.”The mini skirt came off first.
I let it fall to my feet
and then kicked it onto the wisteria bush,
where it sat like a denim hat
over purple dreadlocks.I spun around,
two braids flying as I whirled,
yanking my blouse apart,
the snaps opening all at once.Dancing in bare feet
and my pink bikini,
I swung the blouse in figure eights,
like a ribbon gymnast
tracing intricate patterns,
and then I draped it over my head,
singing and dancing blind,
warm air on my body,
hips and shoulders swaying.People cheered.
I peered out from behind my blouse
and saw a blur of boy's faces—
a real audience had gathered; still I kept going,
sensing a power I couldn't name
and didn't understand.I tossed the eyelet blouse at a boy
who was grinning at me,
and looked back at him from over my shoulder.
Then I spun and swirled, gyrated and giggled
my way through the rest of the song.When it was over, the boy returned my shirt.
I went to the wisteria bush and got dressed.
Lisa's older brother and his two friends
who had come outside to watch
came close to me, and the cute one said,
“I'll show you mine if you show me yours. ”I lifted my skirt and slid down my bikini bottom.
They all stared at my hairless vagina.
When it was his turn,
the boy said, “You're a filthy slut,”
and then nudged his friends.
“Let's get out of here,” he said,
and they ran inside the house laughing.I understood then
there was nothing more intriguing
than the body,
the genitals,
all the sex stuff.I don't know how my sisters heard,
but that kind of thing leaks out
and gets around the neighborhood.
They asked me how I could show my face at school.As time passed, my sisters discovered
they only needed to utter
two words to keep me in my place.
“Messa Road.”They said it in front of our parents and friends,
laughing at the private joke that gave them power.For a long time, shame made me forget
all of this, especially how young I was,
how beautiful and brave
to sing and dance like that,
to stand there naked that way,
eager to see
and be seen.
From SECRETS OF MY SEX.
An ealier version of this poem appeared in ONTHEBUS Number 5.