Two months from my pub date for Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy, the white spaces on my calendar from May through November are evaporating and I continue to receive plenty of opportunities to practice letting go—of judgments, worry, stressful thinking, outcomes, and fear of failure. It’s a practice. Some days I get it. I have flashes of insight and know that all is well. Other days I forget and get sucked into thought storms, which send my emotions swirling.
Still, I know my default setting—my natural state—is equanimity and love. The only thing that keeps me from these positive states of being is my thinking. I told my mastermind group yesterday, “I am a believer.” This means that I believe I am both a human and a spiritual being. I believe that my natural (formless) state is love and light and that this resides within me (and everybody else) no matter what personal thinking catapults me onto a rollercoaster ride of my own creation. I believe that if I leave my worried, anxious, insecure thinking alone it will pass—as everything does—and I’ll return to my natural, healthy, happy state. I know I don’t have to do anything to achieve this. Awareness of the Three Principles, a branch of spiritual psychology that explains how mind, consciousness, and thought create our experience of life, has given me liberating insights and new understanding. I believe every person has a say in his or her own health and happiness and I believe that the body, mind, and spirit are inextricably linked. I believe that I am safe and free and that it’s absolutely fine not to know what’s going to happen in the future. I believe that my book is an extension and expression of my spiritual practices and creative work, and that I will always be a student as well as a teacher. I believe that the success of my book is a small matter compared to my daily practices and creative work. This applies to the work I do with others as a teacher and coach, and also to my solitary work: meditation and writing. I hesitate to call any of this work, however, because it’s all a labor of love and I’m grateful for living a purposeful life.
But I forget. I used to beat myself up when my mood plummeted or anxiety hijacked my day. I’d judge myself. I’d chide, You should know better! But I’m learning that the divine side of me doesn’t negate the very real and flawed human aspect. They go together, so I experience both—my divinity and my humanness. And the human part can be challenging and painful, especially when you have a memoir coming out in two months and you tell yourself, There’s so much to do! I spend hours in my office, work harder than I know is healthy, and tell myself I should work smarter, not harder—but how? This question always yields the same response: Let go!
Here’s what else I do when I find myself dizzy with to-dos as I approach my book launch:
This helps me maintain perspective—most of the time. But when I struggle, I’m learning to have more compassion for my bad habits, my mistakes, insensitivity, ignorance, impatience, urgency, and fears. The brain is malleable. Neuroplasticity is a brave and beautiful new frontier that proves the science behind spiritual psychology. I believe that despite the incomprehensible state of our county and world today, we are evolving in consciousness as a species, and that spiritually speaking all is well. So, although I want my book to be “successful,” no matter what happens on that front I will keep coming back to the larger picture of my life. This anchors me in what’s real.
How have other authors managed pre-publication stress? I’d love to hear from you!